How to sleep well – starting tonight

A dozen easy methods to help you fall asleep (Number 11 is my favourite)

I’m confident most if not all of these little mind games will be new to you. Pick one randomly and if that suits - then these words have done their job. If that method ever fails in the future, then you can come back to this again and read on, perhaps the next one will do the trick.

Sleep is the most natural thing in the world – so why do we find it elusive sometimes? You know you want to sleep, but something is getting in the way.

Any one of the simple suggestions that follow will allow you to fall asleep by simply taking away any feeling of struggle.

I just want to solve this particular problem for you:

“How can I get to sleep when I feel wide awake but I know that if I don’t drop off RIGHT NOW, I won’t get the best out of tomorrow?”

Some basic, obvious stuff you probably already know:

Laying the groundwork as briefly as possible, sleep can be made easier by:

Exposing yourself to bright sunlight in the morning;

Exercising during the day (but not too close to bedtime);

Having a quiet bedroom (earplugs are available!);

Keeping the lights dim or off (eye masks are an option);

Minimizing the chances of being disturbed (a closed/locked door, phone switched off, everyone else at home knows you’ve gone to bed and expect to be left in peace);

Confidence that your alarm will reliably wake you at the right time (preferably a dedicated alarm, not your mobile phone);

Avoiding a full bladder just before bed (drinking lots of fluids just before going to sleep may wake you during the night for a trip to the bathroom);

A comfortable bed;

Finally and most importantly - a quiet, relaxed mind … which is what we are aiming for here.

There is a little preparation before you turn the light out, but only a few very simple steps. Using pen and paper, write down any stuff that you didn’t get round to today, that you now plan to do tomorrow instead. Just brief notes – not big explanations. And keep the notepad and pen by the bed, just in case you do wake in the night and have any kind of idea which you want to be sure not to forget by the morning.

AND SO, TO BED

So now we’re thinking ahead to when you’re lying down, as many as possible of the outside distractions have been taken care of - and its just you, in the dark, waiting for sleep to come.

1. This first suggestion is perhaps the craziest - to imagine the voice of James T. Kirk at the start of an episode of the original (and best!) 1960’s Star Trek. In your best impersonation of his voice, you hear (in the privacy of your head): “Sleep – the final frontier. This is the addiction of the human condition. Tonight’s mission is to go to bed, to put the day behind me and switch off – like every other man has done before.” If you just can’t conjure up Kirk’s dulcet tones, YouTube has the original soundtrack here. (I don’t recommend clicking the link while you’re trying to nod off – the noise of the spaceship shooting past as well as the music is all a bit too rousing for last thing at night.)

2. That first distraction should’ve served to take your mind off any pressing problem and now it’s time to create some inner coziness. Counting sheep isn’t a great idea, but counting blessings certainly works - I’d like you to think of three things which happened today for which you feel grateful. Then, think of three things you did today which you feel glad about. Feel the gratitude, feel the gladness and just bask in that for a little while. And don’t forget to smile! No-one can see you, it’s dark 😉

3. If your mind is still straying towards stuff that you find stressful – take a moment to turn your worries on their head. By this, I mean you ask yourself the question “Is this what I want to happen?” and if the answer is “no”, you picture instead what the best possible outcome for that situation could be. Now enjoy the image of yourself relaxing, savouring the resolution of the problem.

4. There’s a technique I like to call “summon your allies” and it consists of imagining close friends or relatives standing around your bed as you fall asleep. You might choose nearly-forgotten figures from your childhood (and this is all very childish, I know – probably akin to a young child being told that their guardian angel is keeping them safe through the night) – but it allows your mind to drift into thinking about who you might want to gather around you. These are people who you know are on your side – no matter what. You’ll be thinking of why they are (or were) important to you, perhaps why you felt fortunate for their past kindnesses, how comfortable you feel in their presence. Feeling safe and secure is a great way to drift off to sleep.

5. Meditating and sleeping are not the same thing (Duh! I hear you say). However, the relaxation phase of preparing for either has useful parallels. This bedtime routine is not about to give away the “secrets” of Transcendental Meditation, just some of the flavour. Firstly, get comfy. (I was told not to be too comfortable when I was learning to meditate, in case I would end up in a deep sleep … but that’s exactly what we’re aiming for here.) It’s a simple process of slowly repeating a mantra. A nonsense word helps avoid overthinking. Try “kerringg”, for example. Slowly repeat it in time with your outbreaths. That’s it. Just hear yourself repeat your mantra in your head, slow your breathing, slow the mantra to match ….

6. Another mind game you might like to try is imagining yourself gently drifting out of your window, down your street, looking with a bird’s eye view at the quietness and stillness around the neighbourhood. You effortlessly and aimlessly glide about, maybe at rooftop height or all the way down to your normal eye level. And you see that the world is ticking along quite nicely without you having to take any sort of control … and if you want, you can gently return home, see yourself settled in bed, dropping off to sleep.

7. A variation on this is mentally visiting your “peaceful place”. This can be anywhere you’ve ever been – recently or many years ago. Anywhere, in fact that you’ve felt happy or relaxed, caught up in the beauty of the scenery or in any other way feeling comfortable and at home. Perhaps imagining warm sunshine on your skin, hearing the gentle lapping of waves on the beach. The picture in your head is just to bring back the powerful sense of relaxation – that all is well in this safe place, where you can completely let go …

8. A purely physical relaxation:

Place one hand on your stomach. Then breathe in through your nose and feel the hand on your stomach rising. Now breathe out through your mouth, squeezing the air out by gently contracting your tummy muscles. You’ll feel the hand on your stomach move in as you exhale. Count on the outbreath, deliberately stretching the time to help slow your breathing.

9. Try this “scan” of your body:

Lying on your back with your legs uncrossed and arms relaxed at your sides, direct your attention to your breathing. After a minute or so, start to think about the toes on your right foot. If you feel any tightness, maybe a little wiggle will allow the area to relax. Then start to concentrate on the sole of your right foot. Let any uncomfortable sensations there ease off either with a slight repositioning or just by deliberately relaxing the area. Take your thoughts to your right ankle and go through the same routine – whatever little adjustments are required, allow each part of your body to relax, moving up your calf, knee, thigh, hip, and then over to your left leg, again working up from the toes. Next, think your way up your torso, through your lower back and tummy, your upper back and chest, your shoulders and into your neck. Quite often, if done slowly enough, this can produce a very pleasant tingling sensation in the tips of the ears and the top of the head, just before sleep overwhelms you.

10. Worry worms can wait

Worry isn’t about the moment we’re in right now. It’s about remembering something you’d rather forget, or concern about something that might happen in the future. Right here, as you fall asleep, safe in bed – this is not the place for anything other than appreciating the moment. The warmth, the comfort, the feeling that you’ve done your bit today and you deserve to rest – so rest.

11. Play a “highlight reel” of today’s best bits.

Remember every little kindness that you were shown today. Say a mental “thank you” to anyone who showed a little extra courtesy or even just shared a smile. The world is full of people who are not only willing but keen to help your day run a little smoother - the motorist who waved you in front, the exiting customer who held the door open for you as you went into the store. Enjoy recalling the simple pleasantries that have happened today and savour them as you fall asleep.

If your highlights of the day are a little on the negative side – here’s the thing. Just let go of grudges. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and others for theirs. Put the kindest interpretation that you can on anything that you found less than ideal today. Let things go. Feel the weight lift away, safe in the knowledge you no longer have to shoulder that burden. It’s done. You can move on. And you can sleep.

12. Park all your stressors

If you’re having a hard time letting go of some niggle or other, use your mind’s eye to load up all these things into boxes large and small, representative of the problems they contain, then throw them all onto the back of a car. Take the car for a drive to the edge of town. Get yourself a taxi home and feel the increasing distance between you and those worries make them seem smaller and less and less significant. Tell yourself you can always go back for them sometime if needs be – but not now. Now is the time for sleep.

Don’t think of sleep as something that gets in the way of you getting stuff done. Sleep is essential. Some high achievers claim “I only need four hours sleep a night” as a real badge of honour. I’m convinced this, in the long term, is simply not a good thing.

Sir Philip Sidney called sleep "the certain knot of peace … the balm of woe, the poor man's wealth, the prisoner's release".

Sleeping isn’t an indulgence or a weakness – it is absolutely necessary, for you to be able to function at your highest level. And sleep is inevitable. No matter if you tried your hardest never to sleep, sleep would eventually come.

All these hints and musings are simply to get you to fall asleep a little sooner than you might otherwise. Best of luck!