The "Big Talk"

(No - not the birds and the bees!)

Real, heart-to-heat communication.

Re-connecting in a way that matters, maybe after a long period of silence.

Telling someone “thank you” - and why.

Asking for forgiveness, perhaps.

Or telling someone that you’ve forgiven them, if there ever was anything to forgive in the first place.

It’s probably one of the most liberating things you can do.

I have a counselling role in a hospice and sometimes, as people approach the end of their life, they tell me things they wish they hadn’t left unsaid to their loved ones.

I sometimes role-play for the person they wished they’d spoken to, if that person is no longer here. But it’s far better not to leave it that late in the day - you can just pick up the phone or write that letter.

All this is stuff you need to think about now - because when you go, you’re gone. If you'd thought you would have a deathbed reconciliation with all these people who you've meant to say something to down the years, but then today, you die in a road traffic accident… Well, it is too late then, isn't it?

You've got to do it while you can. And the thing is, if you do it and you reconcile with people, you then have whatever's left in your life to enjoy a better relationship with them.

So why would you want to leave it until the very end? Because then you won't have time to reap the benefits of that better relationship.

It's not just getting stuff off your chest. It's making a better future for however long you have. Some people live to a hundred, some people don't even make it to 50. We just don't know, do we?

None of us know. It’s a sobering thought.

Today is the last day in December, the end of the year - it can feel like things are drawing to a close. In the way all our lives will one day draw to a close.

It feels like a particularly good day to reach out, tell someone why they matter to you - and perhaps forge a better relationship as we move in to 2025.