This One Belief Can Change Your Life

(or save someone else’s)

I’ve lost count of the number of calls I’ve taken on a suicide prevention hotline with this turning point:

A tearful “I feel like I’ve got no option”
eventually becomes a hesitant “maybe I could …” 

Simply seeing some possibility of change can tip the balance decisively.  

It comes from allowing the person to talk through their situation, relationships, fears, traumas or anything else - and really trying to understand why they are thinking the way they are.

There’s no offer of a solution or even any advice - the caller is simply encouraged to use a variety of viewpoints to look at their situation. 

It might take a couple of hours for them to really feel understood - but the process of them explaining how life is for them and how they are feeling, helps clarify things in their own mind.  That can be enough to introduce a bit of much needed perspective.

If their tunnel vision can be opened up, possibilities show themselves - and their focus can move away from the all-consuming thought of ending their life. 

This switching from despair to hope isn’t because a chemical has changed in their brain, or their circumstances have altered. They have just accepted the possibility that things can improve.

Once you believe change is possible, you have the basis for hope. You’ve risen above apathy and despair and you can start to see new possibilities. 

Of course, you don’t have to have reached rock bottom to find a value in hoping for a better future.

Seeing your life as it currently is, but knowing you can change any part of it you want to, is the first and biggest mental shift required on your path to the life you want.

The simple fact that you are reading now shows you are open to the idea that things can change.  This is crucial.

Right now, if you imagine your life as you want it to be (rather than seeing it as it actually is) you set in train a whole series of possibility thought processes.

You understand your situation - warts and all - from a bird’s eye perspective: your living arrangements, finances, personal and business relationships.

Some things may be just fine - but whatever parts are not exactly as you want them to be can be, you can improve on. None of it is set in stone.

It’s entirely up to you if you settle for life as it is, or not. 

A simple decision to create a better future is your catalyst for change. 

You need some ambition to overcome your current obstacles (particularly your self-imposed limits) BUT - becoming overly ambitious in one particular aspect of your life can throw everything else out of balance. And here’s the thing - balance is essential to ensure all your needs (mental, physical and emotional) are met. 

For instance, having a super-fit body doesn’t really qualify as a “win” if it’s caused your personal relationships to fall apart and you’re penniless. 

That’s a first step towards the “positive mental attitude” that encourages you to see opportunities all around.

Just let me take some of the "mumbo jumbo" out of positive thinking before we go any further. For some people, the idea of positive thinking is “all you have to do is to wish, really hard, for something and then it will just drop into your lap”. There are other versions of “the bounteous universe providing just what you want on autopilot” – they are all fairytales. 

A positive mental attitude simply means you are more in tune to the possibilities around you – and that’s it. You still have to push forwards, doing what you need to do, to get what you want. 

So, do you know yet, what it is that you want? 

If so, have you ever written it down? Getting things down on paper is a really big and important step - even if no-one else is ever going to see what you’ve written. 

If you’re still just vaguely wishing for “better”, but not really sure what it is you want – here’s a simple mental image to put you on track: Imagine you are able to go forward in time to meet the “you” of two, or five year’s time. This is the person you see yourself as being at that point – enjoying the improved physical health, better financial situation, happier relationships – whatever it is that you want for yourself. 

So then, having allowed yourself to enjoy this image of “You 2.0” – and you really should enjoy it (revel in it, even!) - you can then start to think about how to get from where you are now (you today) to this new, improved version. 

So, if you see yourself as being fitter, you’ll probably need to think about new workouts. If you see yourself as better off, perhaps you’ll need to work on the business plan. And of course, if you see a much more muscular, or much wealthier “You 2.0”, then you need to factor in a detailed process and a timescale you can believe. But these, for now, are mere details. The point is, if you didn’t know what your idea of success is already, that particular visualisation process is to show you where you’re aiming. 

Because this is all entirely about you. You set the level of “success”. For some people that’s a particular financial situation, for others a happy marriage, or it might be that all you’ve ever really wanted is a healthy, well-adjusted child. It’s your choice – all of it. And how long it’s going to take – that’s up to you, too. What’s important is just to accept that you now know what you want. You also know there will be a way to get there (unless you’re determined to do something that no other human has achieved before, like flying purely through the efforts of their own arms – and here I have to burst your bubble – “you can’t fight the laws of physics, Jim!”) 

So perhaps it’s worth taking a few minutes to write down a bit about the “You 2.0” which you want to become in two or five years or whatever it is? Please, do actually write it down. 

Then take a break.
Go and do something you enjoy. 

The simple act of seeing, in your mind’s eye, what you are going to be like in the future, has given your subconscious a bit of work to do. This isn’t something you need to be concerned about! You’ve started a process that all the quiet computing power in your head will begin piecing together a plan for - while you’re sleeping or daydreaming or just plain busy with other stuff. The plan will come together bit by bit as you’ll find ideas just pop into your head. Give it time and let it happen. 

Keeping a notepad handy (or easy access to the voice recorder on your phone) is pretty useful so you can capture whatever ideas crop up. 

There’s no rush about any of this – but having a rough idea of a timeline is going to keep you on track. A simple example of having a plan is the worldwide phenomenon that is “Couch to 5K” – people make a gentle start and build on that slowly. The incremental progress eventually gets non-running “couch potatoes” fit for a competitive run in a few short weeks. And for many participants, the progress continues all the way up to ultra-marathons – way beyond their original ideas of what was possible. 

Instead of the c25K “so many kilometres walked or run” you’ll have your own signposts along the way. The simple process, though, goes like this: 

• Dream / daydream / visualise! Whatever you want to call it, find the image of what you want to achieve or become. 

• Break the path to this dream down into steps that build easily one onto the next. 

• Set yourself a goal for the end of this week, this month and this year which will lead you inexorably closer to your dreams – even if the dream is so big you know it will take a decade to achieve. 

These are the steps for the big, life-changing goals. 

The smaller “goals” are just a regular “to-do” list like household chores that don’t require anything in the way of dreaming. For the boring but necessary day-to-day stuff - just get on with it! 

One of the secrets of highly successful people is that they aren’t overwhelmed by large projects. They have the ability to break things down into small, simple, do-able steps. Each step builds on the last and significant progress is made within just a few weeks. 

If you can develop this skill, to identify the necessary steps to get from where you are now to the You 2.0 of the future, you are halfway there. 

All that remains is exercising the discipline to stay on track, keep to the schedule and the plan will become reality. 

In summary: 

• Be open to the possibility of a brighter future. 

• Decide what it is you really want - not what you are prepared to settle for. There's a lot of truth in the saying "your yearning power counts for much more than your earning power". 

• Work out the logical steps between your current situation and seeing your dreams become reality. Follow the steps, in order, keeping to the timetable you've set yourself. 

• Start! You've done the visualisation, you know where you want to get to - and only you can make this happen. Nothing changes until you start to put your plan into action. 

• Be disciplined in keeping to the plan. Keep your long-term goal in mind as the "carrot" ahead of you and use each milestone passed as your encouragement that things are getting better. 

• Remember you have an invisible ally - your subconscious. Your subconscious will see possibilities that your waking mind has missed. It will solve problems overnight while you sleep and you will wake with a clearer view of what seemed so difficult to understand just the day before. 

• Sleep is invaluable. Don't think that by sleeping less, you will get more done. Sleep isn't just rest. It isn't something that only the body requires. It's a busy time for your subconscious, it's when some of your knottiest problems become untied - and all on auto pilot.

Oh … and back to the beginning - the one belief that can change your life?  It’s simply knowing: “I can improve things.”